Creeped out

I was half watching the television as my brother landed on a commercial for a new coin issued for by the National Collectors Mint. The coin is a September 11th memorial coin "minted from pure .999 silver salvaged from Ground Zero" according to the ad.

And a shiver went down my spine... like someone was tapdancing on my grave.

I realize that the silver used in this coin was recovered from a bank vault that had been in the lower levels of the building. However, the idea of making a profit from a tragedy of that magnetude sickens me. It's akin to robbing from graves and then hawking the proceeds on eBay. It would be like selling coins minted from recovered portions of ships damaged beyond repair at Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941.

This what also galls me about the way the Bush/Cheney conduct their campaign. They have taken a tragedy and turned it to their own gain. If you don't believe their way is the right way, you're dishonoring the memory of those that died in the fall of the towers, in Afghanistan and in Iraq... and hope you'll ignore the fact that perhaps those people would never have died at all if maybe they had paid attention to what their predecessors were trying to tell them.

I wish I lived in a swing state so my support of John Kerry may have an impact.

The Big Day Arrives

I went in for my intake and evaluation at Denton County Mental Health & Mental Retardation Services today. After completing about seven pages of paperwork on my history, the intake caseworker takes me back into her office. The first thing she informed me of was that funding for DCMHMR has already been exhausted for the year and that all new clients go on a waiting list, and that it's a pity I don't live in Dallas county because Dallas county has an open door policy and accepts any needy resident of the county no matter what the county's funding status is. She actually suggested if I could get a friend to "prove" I lived with them in Dallas county, it might work out better for me. When I asked if she was suggesting I commit fraud, she paled and got down to business.

We then went through the intake process and I was completely honest with her about my current condition, my living situation, my medication cutback in order to extend out the supply I brought down with me and my daily habits. One of the things she ran through was a bipolar checklist - apparently on the extended low dose of Topamax, my condition is coming across as pretty severe - when I'm manic, it's sky high and when I'm depressive, it's bordering on catatonic. One of the papers she slid in front of me was a "contract" - a form to sign that stated that if I should have thoughts of harming myself or others I am to call their crisis line.

I stared at the form for about five minutes. She asked if there was anything wrong. I mentioned I wasn't comfortable with the term "contract", as it implied a binding legal agreement and that the terms contained within it were unenforcable. She asked me to explain. I pointed out the section about thoughts of harming others. I explained that if I held to the absolute letter of the so-called contract, every time I entertained a passing fantasy of planting my foot squarely in my inconsiderate neighbor's tail end because they keep me awake at night, I'd be calling about 8 or 9 times a night. She excused herself to have a word with her supervisor.

In spite of there being a first come, first served waiting list where they accept new patients that have no insurance or income only when a vacancy occurs due to another person either leaving the service area or becoming ineligible for services, it was decided that I am a "crisis case" - I have a diagnosis and am currently on medication. I need to continue on that medication in order to not become a danger to myself and to stay out of an in-patient facility, so they're going to squeeze me into the system and get me onto the right dose of medication and see about getting me a few other support services so that I can try to be a productive member of society again.

We'll see if it works.

Chewing nails and spitting thumbtacks

Not good for the dental work, but it does tend to clear up iron deficiencies. Yes, I'm angry. I just found out my long anticipated weekend has been blown to Hell by unscrupulous bastards that take advantage of friendships. It's not just that Joe has to miss this weekend with me that has me infuriated, it's that he was also forced to miss spending his daughter's birthday with her because not only did his employer insist on playing fast and loose with proper employment procedures, but then underpayed him for the work he did. I'm in the process of trying to figure out how to get him some cash as fast as I can in order for him to be able to spend time with his little girl - I figure that we'll be together when the stars align in our favor one of these centuries.

If anyone wants to make a contribution to the cause, feel free to comment and I'll let you know how to get in contact with me. Every little bit helps.