Desperate times call for desperate measures

Well, I had an interview about 3 weeks ago with Nextel. After waiting almost two weeks for word on whether or not I was going to be hired, the word came down that they had decided to hire someone else. I should be used to this by now.

Last Thursday I received an email from a company that had noticed my resume on one of the job sites. They wanted people to do inventories of PC and network equipment for one of the utility companies. It would have involved travel and the contract would last about a month. I faxed over the forms they need to start the required background check - and haven't heard a word since.

Here's where the desperation starts to show. I was chatting via ICQ with an old gaming buddy from UO. He mentioned that they could use more people on the contract he's working. I emailed him my resume, which he said he'll pass along to his HR department. Sounds like typical computer nerd networking, right? Well, here's the kicker:

The job pays hourly, overtime and hazard pay.

Hazard pay? Well, considering that the job site is in the Persian Gulf area, the company is paying a hazardous duty bonus. The contract is for a year and is renewable, with a 60 hour week being normal.

Yes, I'm so desperate to find meaningful employment that I'm willing to risk my neck by being a Western woman in an Islamic country and working in a predominantly male industry. Why? Because I could potentially earn $58,500 AFTER taxes for one year. That kind of money could easily allow me to give my brother the money to put a down payment on a house, fix up my car AND provide funds enough so the man I love could go back to school full time to finish his degree work.

Beyond that, it would allow me a small sense of normality. I'd have a reason to get up in the morning. I'd have a reason to shower and dress properly. I wouldn't have the time to dwell on the fact that I suffer from a mental illness or wonder what causes it or why I was the one to roll snake eyes at the cosmic craps table.

That's why I need a job - not for the money. I need a job so I can feel like me again.